Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
