Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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