I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We left an ass print on the piano.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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