And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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