don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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