it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
