I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
