come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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