remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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