3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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