i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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