I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Randomize
