Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
