Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
