I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
