I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Hello my rib-scented angel!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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