I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Well I just put wine in my tea
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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