I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
