no. you can't hotbox the world.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
