He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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