So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
