Don't you send me to vm
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
