i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
