ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
