I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
