it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Randomize
