They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
