and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
