Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
