weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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