Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
