do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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