So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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