I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
