Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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