That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
