I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
