My room smells like vodka and shame
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
