I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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