The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
