when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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