so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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