but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
