I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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