They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Semen is not good for contacts.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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