Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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