Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
