Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I think my vagina is haunted
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
