Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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