i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
