Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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