well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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