Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
